Women enter at your own disappointment

another throwback from september of 2007. I am posting these as a series because I went through a dramtic transformation during this time period.

DO NOT READ A WORD FURTHER IF YOU WANT TO STILL BE MY FRIEND AFTER THIS!!!
I wasn't kidding. I know a list of women read my blog and now is not a good time for them to do so. I guarantee I will sound bitter, condescending, inappreciative, hateful, and at times conceited. IF this is not the me you know and love, go web browse on you tube for a while. Ok enough disclaimer bullshit.
I really thought that of all men I should have the most accurate rationale of how to understand the minds and behaviors of women. I have been on countless occasions been told that I have too many female friends, or that I am too good to women. Wasn't sure that last one was possible when I started out. Now I know it is an absolute pitfall. You can be too good to women. I know this because I have been. I am not saying that all women were getting more than they deserved when I treated them as I did. But a lot of these bitches weren't fucking worth my time. (see, bitter and hateful: feel free to stop at any time.)
I'm fucked up for saying that. No me getting fucked up made me say it. I was fucked up by you women and now you will feel the wrath of it. The case points begin here. (don't worry no names are given)
I recently discovered that a women that I had respect for liked me. Now when someone tells me that they like me, I have to admit I do feel a bit of humility because I am always thankful to be liked. However, being a single father trying to raise a wild boy does not allow me to enter into a relationship without consideration. So for 3-4 days I seriously considered the ramifications of how this relationship would effect our (my and my son's) lives. Since I knew already that this person got along well with my son, and I had no problems with her situation (this term situation is to protect against nosy people who go on my myspace simply to see what it is that I am up to, you know who you are) and so I engaged in spending time with this person.
Here, what do women want? I thought women want a guy who will be there. Not stand you up, treat you well, want to spend time with you and enjoy that time. A guy who is physically attracted to you but likes you for you. Not someone who you can lead to believe there is something there and then tell them you just want to be friends and then pretend like you hate them and try to find every feasible means to escape their company whenever you two see one another. And I didn't know being able to be there whenever you wanted to spend time and capable of working on your schedule was a bad thing ladies.
For the record, I know she is not reading this, maybe a friend or two will, but I am not in love with her, I don't love her, I like her, but now I kinda regret it, even though she was a fantastic kisser and the prospect of having sex with her was enlightening. But fuck it I am who I am and she didn't want me, or she says she didn't.
C'est la vie! (that's life for all you non French speaking individs)
Now, this is where women comment and say "You are a nice guy and you will find the right person." Bullshit, I don't want the right person. Cause all that means is that if I got her and lost her then I would have fucked myself royally. So if I can get "miss meets general standards" I will be in there. Cause that is like going out to eat and getting a cheap meal that is mildly satisfying. You are fed, so it served its purpose, and you didn't get too much invested so you are safe from maximum loss. I know, I am fucked up, women made me this way.
But seriously, a woman would be lucky to have me be interested in them. I am a strong, intelligent, fun loving man. I love kids, I get along well with them and for that matter most people. I am not at all ignorant or shallow. I am goal oriented, and while I am not a millionaire, I have received a degree and hope to get on the path to making lots of money in my field. Had few complaints in the sack and I am a great kisser. Did I mention kids love me. I don't drink or smoke or do drugs. What else could you want, a golden fucking twelve incher with vibrating action that has a sensor that makes me orgasm when you do so its perfect sex every time?
Now, on to the last women I had a "relationship" with. I would call it an understanding seeing as how all she did was call me late at night to come over for sex. She even said that was all that this was. I was taking classes so I could only come a few times a week. Usually late night after work. She knew this. Eventually she would make that booty call and then I would go over and there would be no booty. Which sucked cause she would call me out of a sound sleep, when I had to be up early, and describe what she wanted. If this was her way of getting a cuddle buddy or something more, she should have informed me. Instead she played stupid and when exams came around, (in college you have exams boys and girls) I couldn't go that week. Well she got crazy and started texting me at all hours of the AM asking why I was treating her this way, and who was "she"? ( she being the other girl, the reason I wasn't coming to fuck her). I could have told her public finance and data analysis but the bitch wouldn't have gotten it. So I cut her off, and turns out 3 weeks later that she finds out that she has a tumor in her brain. At which point I get hate mail and hate texts saying that I am a horrible guy for leaving her in her time of need and that she thought she meant more to me than that. Honestly, she meant nothing to me. The sex was good 3 out of five times. 9 out of 10 times I did all the work. Once she got pissed when I came from a blow job and didn't fuck her 10 minutes later. I know this is harsh but I am fucked up remember. A few times I didn't give all star performances but it was always 430 am and I just woke out of a sound sleep. But shit happens.
Oh, and so I was browsing myspace friends profiles and I found a girl who I used to get incredibly drunk and engage in intercourse with. We weren't always drunk, but a good 85 % of the time. She wasn't the best looker but she was down for whatever and whatever was always rough and kinky. I was once told by a girl who is now married to my boy that I could do so much better. And a drunken me replied, I know, but where is better right now that I am horny. Anyway, on her myspace are pics, (duh) and her bestest chum is another girl that I used to date in my teens. This was a horrible piece of trash when I met her ass and her betraying me was the best thing she could have ever done for me. (betrayal???) The bitch came to my house the day my dad died and said she wanted to be there for me. I guess being there for me meant fucking my neighbors cousin and then coming and sharing my bed (to sleep) and telling me in the morning that she was his girlfriend now. I got payback on that bitch by inviting her to my house for the week and burning all her clothes. Oh and karma got her back too cause rumor has it that she now has herpes and I heard shortly after we split that she started smoking crack and when she had a kid her father had to take custody cause she was such a mess. (Why am I bringing up old shit?) cause on this other girls page (not the herpes crackhead the other one) is a comment from the fiend saying that its funny how many guys they had in common (or something to this effect) and get this, how glad she is that she chose the way she did and didn't stay with me ( there was a clear insinuation to such) and a concurrence by the other girl. Women ain't shit. Like I ever would keep them long term.
Now of the last few women I have had sex with, one was just trying to get over her ex, another was just dying to cheat on her man to add to her resume, one was so high on lithium she would invite me over and fall asleep so she had to always leave her door open and she was the early stages of being a cat lady. Another was my last gf who although I love and respect her as a friend, as a girlfriend she wasn't up to par and had some self esteem issues which is a huge turn off. Plus she accused me of sleeping around more than they play Golden Girls reruns at night.
One was a genuinely mutual friend with benefits but even she had to be drunk to do it, and I hated it because she smoked which wrecks my "allergic to smoke" glands. I was usually holding my breath and I have to say my heart was rarely in it. I guess that is the point of that. But there was some ugly complications there that won't be enlightened upon.
Oh what about that one girl who you thought was hot as hell, and came over to chill and wanted you so bad, but always talked you into getting oral sex form her instead of having sex? I gotta say she was great at it and I like it as much as the next guy, but sometimes a man needs to do some penetration. So what happened. 6 months after you stopped talking to her she had a baby. ( Go ahead, do the math) yeah and then I saw her 3 months later and she didn't say a fucking thing about it. Nice chick there.
Lastly I want to talk about the girl who I love with all my heart, she was my first true friend that was a girl. We finished each others sentences. It was that nice. We dated, and it was on shaky circumstances. We had other encounters but never sealed the deal. We had a falling out, and I did my best to fall back in. Regretfully not until after I was spiteful about it for too long. I really love this girl. And she is with a dick who treats her like shit. She was always with a dick that treats her like shit. Except for me. I treated her like I loved her. Cause I did. And I broke up with her and probably caused all her mess. But she won't speak to me so there you have it. The one girl I want a second chance from you don't get one. All the rest of the sluts, crazies and randoms can't get enough. I bet you could put me in a room full of nuns and I could find the one most likely to put out. Only thing is I would just want to be her friend and she would try to seduce me. That is how my radar works. I would need absolution and she would be trying to give me a hand job.
But I could also find a prostitute that was the best at her craft and I could talk her into going straight and would she never even give me head for helping her see the err of her ways cause I was special.
Why?
Cause what I understand about women is that they don't want a guy that is kind and sensitive. They don't want a guy that will talk to them. They want a guy that is insensitive that they can manipulate into being sensitive for carnal gains. They want a guy that hates to talk to them because they nagged and begged and pleaded and finally got them to give in and talk to them against their wishes. Women don't want a nice guy. The want that asshole over there with the great abs and the Growing up Gotti Haircut to be nice to them because they want a chance to have sex with them. They don't want the perfect life. They want a dysfunctional existence where there is always controversy and they can give their man such good pussy (sorry) that he will lie to his friends and avoid the ones she doesn't like and can cause strife with his own family if it means that she will be happy with him and vice versa. They don't fucking want Nelson Mandela. They want Mike Tyson so that they can buy the guiness book of world records supply of cover up and pretend like they believe that Mike is Nelson and that her family doesn't understand him like she does and he only gets mad and fractured her skull cause he loves her. Listen up bitches, just because love and passion are intertwined at times, doesn't mean that Mike's passion to fuck you up is his way of showing he loves you.
And don't get me started on the dumb assholes who let women spend all their money with reckless abandon. If I ever get cursed with a wife and that bitch buys our kid a 200 dollar stroller when those shits are at walmart for 69 bucks, she's dead. That stroller better cook and clean cause I am gonna break her card swiping hand (kidding). But back to women. The one thing I learned about women is that the moment that you decide that you have an interest in penetrating them or being with them or getting to know them cause they are so nice and cute and you could see yourself being with them and their kid is awesome, you are fucked. Cause you made a mistake and now you will pine over this and it will drive you crazy and make you question whether you should pursue harder or back off, or just come out and say can we please fuck cause I really want you or say I am cool with being friends but can you please stop avoiding me like the plague and it is uncool that the only time you called is because you wanted gossip and it sucked for me cause I actually decided to delete your number from my phone and now it is back in there cause I believe there is still a shot. Damn. I'm done. Call me ladies. Its been a while.