This is a throwback from september of 2007.
I find that whenever I am blessed with the gift of enlightenment or have an incredible lesson bestowed upon me, I must pass on this gift to the masses. So I am about to give a discussion of something that I heard today and the profound message behind it that had a profound impact on me. I will of course slide in my two cents but most of this is divined not of me but of another. I am just the vehicle for his wonderful words to be ushered onward.
The message:
When you compare, you belittle.
What does this mean. Well lets start with an example. There is an overwhelming consensus that thin = fit while big = fat or overweight. Fair skin = pretty while any imperfection is seen as ugly. The example I was given was, if you have very terrible skin, with acne all over your face and scarring and you find yourself a remedy to improve your skin significantly do not compare your new skin to that of an individual who is given perfectly clear skin and feel as though you are lesser. Yes it is the miracle given by God to that other person to have clear skin. The miracle God gave unto you is that remedy to make your skin better. Don't belittle it by saying that your skin is not as clear as that other guys. That is tarnishing your miracle. Keep your miracle on a pedestal and let that other guy worry about his miracles. You can't compare two miracles side by side. They will never be equal. It is the difference in the post-miracle state of things from the pre-miracle state of things that makes a miracle such.
By trying to compare to others is simply creating stress in our own lives. We should never worry about what we don't have. We should cherish that which we are blessed with.
The second example given was that if you have a wife, don't try to style or groom your wife to be like another specific individual or individuals. Don't try to teach her to be like your mother, or to act like your sister or to dress and carry herself like some movie star, super model, or even a neighbor. Don't try to compare her to someone she is not. You just belittle her virtues and strengths by trying to put them against others. In doing so you put stress on your relationship.
It does not matter how she compares to your neighbor's wife at cooking, or the deacon's wife at dedication to church functions, or to your grand mother in her attitude, or to beyoncé with her looks. You must judge your wife on who she is, the person that she desires to be, and how well she is at being herself. If you determine that she is not the person you want to be with but may be close, don't try to force her to changer her body to be the sexy person you want, or to change her mind to think and act the way you want. If you don't want that person, don't try to be with that person. This goes for women too. Don't try to make your man into what he is not. Accept that individual as one of God's creations and don't be with him for what you believe you can make him into, be with him for what he is to you and for you.
And if you are a big person, don't try to overexert yourself and do all sorts of unhealthy practices to become someone else's vision of perfection. Be yourself and be realistic when you set goals for your own personal fitness. If you are a big boned woman don't try to starve yourself down to some unreachable weight. If you are a skinny guy, don't pump yourself full of steroids and supplements to become some muscle bound individual. Be happy with yourself and recognize your self worth doesn't hold any correlation to your weight. Or to your ability to be witty, or strong or any level of promiscuity. Don't be a flirty person to make guys like you, and if you are prone to act in a non chivalrous manner, don't pretend to be a chivalrous person to gain attention. You won't be able to uphold a façade for as long as you think.
Don't let the world change you, change the world. Recognizing that you are a beautiful person just as you are is the first step. Don't try to measure up to another person's scale. You are measured in reference to the person who you know inside you should be. That is the standard we should uphold in life.
Because when we compare, we belittle.
I find that whenever I am blessed with the gift of enlightenment or have an incredible lesson bestowed upon me, I must pass on this gift to the masses. So I am about to give a discussion of something that I heard today and the profound message behind it that had a profound impact on me. I will of course slide in my two cents but most of this is divined not of me but of another. I am just the vehicle for his wonderful words to be ushered onward.
The message:
When you compare, you belittle.
What does this mean. Well lets start with an example. There is an overwhelming consensus that thin = fit while big = fat or overweight. Fair skin = pretty while any imperfection is seen as ugly. The example I was given was, if you have very terrible skin, with acne all over your face and scarring and you find yourself a remedy to improve your skin significantly do not compare your new skin to that of an individual who is given perfectly clear skin and feel as though you are lesser. Yes it is the miracle given by God to that other person to have clear skin. The miracle God gave unto you is that remedy to make your skin better. Don't belittle it by saying that your skin is not as clear as that other guys. That is tarnishing your miracle. Keep your miracle on a pedestal and let that other guy worry about his miracles. You can't compare two miracles side by side. They will never be equal. It is the difference in the post-miracle state of things from the pre-miracle state of things that makes a miracle such.
By trying to compare to others is simply creating stress in our own lives. We should never worry about what we don't have. We should cherish that which we are blessed with.
The second example given was that if you have a wife, don't try to style or groom your wife to be like another specific individual or individuals. Don't try to teach her to be like your mother, or to act like your sister or to dress and carry herself like some movie star, super model, or even a neighbor. Don't try to compare her to someone she is not. You just belittle her virtues and strengths by trying to put them against others. In doing so you put stress on your relationship.
It does not matter how she compares to your neighbor's wife at cooking, or the deacon's wife at dedication to church functions, or to your grand mother in her attitude, or to beyoncé with her looks. You must judge your wife on who she is, the person that she desires to be, and how well she is at being herself. If you determine that she is not the person you want to be with but may be close, don't try to force her to changer her body to be the sexy person you want, or to change her mind to think and act the way you want. If you don't want that person, don't try to be with that person. This goes for women too. Don't try to make your man into what he is not. Accept that individual as one of God's creations and don't be with him for what you believe you can make him into, be with him for what he is to you and for you.
And if you are a big person, don't try to overexert yourself and do all sorts of unhealthy practices to become someone else's vision of perfection. Be yourself and be realistic when you set goals for your own personal fitness. If you are a big boned woman don't try to starve yourself down to some unreachable weight. If you are a skinny guy, don't pump yourself full of steroids and supplements to become some muscle bound individual. Be happy with yourself and recognize your self worth doesn't hold any correlation to your weight. Or to your ability to be witty, or strong or any level of promiscuity. Don't be a flirty person to make guys like you, and if you are prone to act in a non chivalrous manner, don't pretend to be a chivalrous person to gain attention. You won't be able to uphold a façade for as long as you think.
Don't let the world change you, change the world. Recognizing that you are a beautiful person just as you are is the first step. Don't try to measure up to another person's scale. You are measured in reference to the person who you know inside you should be. That is the standard we should uphold in life.
Because when we compare, we belittle.
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